Keith Norris aka “Butthead”
SORSN: You’ve become a common fixture at all the sporting events. You bring out your buns and weenies to the baseball games and hold them over a fire. Where do you get your buns and weenies from? Have you put on any weight since baseball has started?
Butthead: Buns and weenies are from Costal (aka Riverbend Market #1 aka “The Junction”). No weight gain, still holding strong at a buck 35.
SORSN: If you were on the show Survivor, do you think they’d keep you in the tribe for your weenies and weenie roasting skills? Do you have any other skills? Good with a bow staff or anything like that?
Butthead: Heck yes they’d keep me. As for my other skill……I can dance.
SORSN: In a game against McMinn Central, Big Jon Russell and a parent from McMinn Central exchanged words during the middle of the game. Does Big Jon have anger management issues? Is he on medication? Does he need to be? Did he look scared?
Butthead: Not at all. He’s a pretty calm guy. Big Jon ain’t scccaaaarrrreeeddd, he’s from the SOUTH. We ain’t never scared!
(“ain’t never” Could Butthead’s English teacher please address this)
Alex Norman
SORSN: You’re currently batting over .400 which is 2nd on the team behind Sam “I Am” Stansbury. Baseball is a game of stats. Do you monitor your numbers during the season? Since you’ve been playing, do you have a season that, statistically, was one of your best?
Alex: I always try to keep up with my stats to see what I need to do more. It always helps to know what your weak points are. I think this year has probably started off as my best year.
SORSN: You’re mom threatened to beat me up and throw me off the Kingston Bridge. I’m not a big guy but I have stayed in a Holiday Inn before. Is she all talk or does she pack a mean punch? Should she be in Anger Management with Big Jon Russell? Maybe practice yoga with Big Jon?
Alex: Oh yes, she is pretty intimidating. She just gets excited to see me play. I think her and Russell would make great yoga partners.
SORSN: Who on the baseball team would win at the following events:
– Bikini Contest
– Hot Dog Eating Contest
– “You throw like a girl” Contest
Alex:
Jon Russell
Steve Stansbury
Jason DeVries
SORSN: You played in the 1st Annual MHS FFA Golf Tournament at Southwest Point Golf Course. Is it difficult to adjust from swinging a bat to swinging a golf club? How much did your team cheat? How many balls were lost?
Alex: Yea, I caught myself swinging the clubs like I was batting. Our team came in last so maybe we should have resorted to cheating. As for the balls, only the lake knows how many we lost.
(Don’t worry, Watts Bar has claimed many of my balls, as well as sunglasses. And I’ve been tempted many of times to give my clubs a good toss into the river and spare myself and them any further embarrassment)