Eric “Peanut Butter And ” Stansbury (RB – Freshman):
SORSN: During the last three games, the 2nd and 3rd teams have seen a lot of playing time. As you’re on the sidelines watching the starters put up big points, do you begin to get butterflies as you wait for the coaches to call your number and put you in the game?
Eric: Yea I get butterflies when they say “your going in next possession”, but after the first hit it all goes away.
SORSN: Typically when the starters are taking out of the game, the quality of play is not at its best. However, you and the rest of the underclassmen have continued to put points on the board even with the big guys on the bench. Tell us about your football background (little league, etc.).
Eric: I played Cutters but we lost all of our games. I played last year (Jr High) and we got to the second round in the playoffs but we got knocked out by Rockwood.
SORSN: What specifically have you done since joining the high school squad to improve your game?
Eric: Running – it has made me faster and working out which has made me a little bit stronger. I also quit eating junk food.
(Travis “Action” Jackson, who helps us by taking pictures, would willingly take any Little Debbie’s that you may have left. I’m partial to “Apple Flips” and “Fudge Rounds” myself)
SORSN: Those on the SORSN staff can all remember as freshman having to scrimmage against the starters and we all had those that we feared having to go up against or get hit by. As a freshman running back, you have to practice against the starting defense. Who on the defensive side do you hate to run the ball towards?
Eric: Zach Moore – because when I play he has about killed me. But I’ve got lucky so far, he has missed me.
SORSN: Did you see the picture that was posted on SORSN of Big Jon Russell fishing (shirtless)? Do you really believe him when he says that he now has tons of women thanks impart to that picture?
Eric: No, I haven’t seen the picture – I don’t think he has any women either.
(Eric, you do realize that Jon is about 3 times your size – probably not wise to state publicly that he doesn’t have any girls! The picture can be seen under the interview section several weeks back.)
SORSN: Eric, you have just been named the SORSN Player of the Week. What are you going to do next?
Eric: Work harder in practice
(Sorry. Not the answer we were looking for. “We’re going to Disney World” is what we were after. Study up before your next interview with SORSN)
Wendal “CupCake” Pressley (OL/DL – Sophomore)
SORSN: You’re listed at 5’1″ 200lbs. however; you were moving Jellico off the ball as if you were 6’4″ 260lbs. Do you feel the person that lines up across from you misjudges your strength and ability?
Wendal: Yes until I “knock the far” out of them.
SORSN: Known to everyone as “Cupcake”, when did you get that nickname and who gave it to you?
Wendal: I got it last year – Special Ed student Scout Palmer
SORSN: Tell us about your football background (little league, etc.).
Wendal: In little league I was always called “Bull”. I loved hitting.
SORSN: Rumorville has it that since the Waves started winning, you have not washed your uniforms, thus contributing the most to the smell of the locker room. Is this true and how bad is the smell?
Wendal: Well it is true, but it wouldn’t gag a maggot. It doesn’t smell that bad.
(Our sources would say otherwise)
SORSN: You play both on the offensive line and defensive line, which do you prefer and why?
Wendal: Offense cause they think I am a push over until their coach sees that he can’t get through me and they look stupid.
SORSN: It is now more than a week after Halloween – can you believe neither Coach Shillings nor Coach Mike Hayes’ yards have been rolled?! Why is this? Have the students been threatened? Is the cost of cheap TP too high now? Obviously the upperclassmen players have failed, so the responsibilities may fall onto the underclassmen.
Wendal: Well I will take the responsibility, but I don’t know where they live.
(You’re in luck. SORSN headquarters is located just a short jog from each and has been highly sought after in recent years as a prime location to park the get-away car.)